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  “I didn’t know.”

  I remembered him saying he had to take a call, but I would never have guessed it was because of being turned on.

  “I’ve been thinking about how you let go and surrender to the feelings around you, how you would fall apart when you came beneath me. When you let yourself free, Mia, it’s like watching you give yourself release. The hottest fucking sight I ever seen.”

  His words. God, his words. I made him feel like this, and I wasn’t even wearing lingerie in that moment.

  “Oh God,” I moaned as his nose nuzzled my sex, breathing me in. I didn’t even let my mind wander to those insecurities of him being down there.

  “When you walked into the restaurant this morning, so fine, and you knew it with that sexy outfit, with every sway of your bite-worthy hips. I got so turned on that I had to run to the restroom and talk myself out of bending you over the table, putting your tits in the spaghetti sauce and then licking them clean after we both found release.”

  Holy fucking shit.

  “Touch those tits, Mia. Make yourself feel good. Show me what you want me to do to them.” His voice vibrated against my clit, making me squirm.

  My chest rose and fell in sync with his breaths against my sex.

  I brought the hand that had been in his hair to my breast, kneading the flesh, feeling the desire to touch my nipple. I teased myself, just as I wanted Logan to do, before dipping into my bra and rolling my nipple between my fingers.

  I bit my bottom lip, feeling wholly erotic and liking this sensation of my touch and his now-open kisses against my panty-clad core.

  “Lie back, Mia,” he commanded.

  And I did.

  He stood abruptly and instantly whipped his shirt over his head. Those muscles, those abs, and whatever the fuck those lines leading down to the waistband of his jeans were called—I wanted to lick them all. I wanted to taste every inch of his tan skin.

  “That fucking look, that hunger in your eyes, is gonna be my ending.”

  I kept looking, devouring him with my gaze. He groaned and walked over to kiss me hungrily. His hand ran over my skin, kneading a breast while I gave the other attention just as he was. Together, we were making my body work overtime from the doubled sensations.

  “Touch your clit, Mia,” he groaned into my mouth.

  I did as he’d said, but I wasn’t feeling the over-the-panties touch. I wanted the real thing. Feeling brave, I dipped my hand beneath them and began touching my soaked sex. My back bowed at the first touch, and his growl spurred my fingers to move against me faster. I imagined my fingers were his, inserting one finger and then rubbing my clit in circular motions before moving back inside my channel.

  “You’re gonna make yourself come, Mia, and I’m gonna watch you own that sweet pussy of yours while I fuck my cock.”

  I was too far gone to care, and while I wanted that cock of his inside me, bringing me to release, I was more intrigued by the idea of watching him jack off to me screwing myself.

  He stood, giving me a complete view as he unzipped his jeans, pushing them down enough that his cock popped out, locked and loaded. A tan hand wrapped around his cock, rubbing a bead of pre-cum around the broad head of his considerable length.

  The more he moved his hand around himself, the more I found my fingers matching his pace. I watched his abdomen tense with every stroke. Then, my eyes met his. His gaze was observing me writhe on the table, my one hand pinching my nipple and the other fucking my pussy in sync with his own personal fucking.

  “Now, this is the hottest fucking sight I’ve ever seen.” His voice was strained.

  A wave of pleasure shot up my body, my toes curling from hearing him speak.

  “You keep moving like that, and I swear, you’re gonna make me come. You’re owning that pussy, showing me what you like. Oh fuck. Yes, pull those panties over and let me see you part your sex. Show me how turned on you are right now. You know exactly what you’re doing to me.”

  I did. I wouldn’t lie. I enjoyed him watching me touch myself. I wanted to make him lose his mind and actually see me as I rubbed my finger over my clit and pushed two fingers inside myself, curling them into the spot that felt the best. I wanted him to lose control over himself, and this was working. I felt hot, and I felt like a sex goddess because I was bringing this attractive man to his knees. He was fucking himself to the sight of me. I was no porn star, but I writhed and watched his hand pick up speed, rubbing himself faster and more precisely.

  The sight along with my own fingers were too much to bear. My whole body tensed, and stars flashed before my eyes. The heavy lids begging me to close them and surrender to the euphoria that was beginning to wreck my body.

  “Oh fuck, Mia. Fuck!”

  I fought against closing my eyes as I rode the waves of my orgasm to watch his whole body flex and jerk as he shot cum into his hand. Every muscle in his body was tight. His face was slack, and those perfect lips were parted, his groans mixing with my whimpers.

  His body shivered, and then he moved to the sink to clean his hands and wet a paper towel for me.

  I stayed melted to the table and cleaned myself up. Not wanting to move from where I lay as a heap of bliss after the best orgasm I’d ever had.

  Chapter Thirty

  Logan

  I’d been right about Mia falling apart and letting go. I would have sold my soul to the devil for the chance to see it. Luckily, she trusted me enough to honor me with the sight herself.

  She’d taken control of herself and me with the strokes of her fingers. Glowing with confidence in her power to bring us both to orgasm.

  After putting my cock back in its denim cage, I looked over to the sexy vixen, who continued to stay lying on her table. Completely sated.

  “How do you feel?” I leaned over, kissing her nose and then her cheeks and finally landing a gentle kiss on her lips.

  “Wrecked.” Her voice sounded sleepy, like she was close to rolling over and drifting off to dreamland.

  “I know the feeling. You’ve wrecked both of us with your performance.”

  She might think she lacked confidence, but it was there. She just needed to hear the effects she had instead of focusing on the ones she thought she didn’t have. She constantly drove me wild, and now, she knew it. The evidence had shot out of my cock as I watched her bring herself to release.

  Blush coated her cheeks, but she didn’t move to close her blouse, shutting my view of her perfect tan skin.

  “I don’t think I’ll be able to get off this table,” she huffed.

  My grin grew wide. She’d fucked herself ragged. I liked that.

  My hands scooted under her neck and legs, lifting her up with ease, and then I walked us down the hall. Hopefully toward her bedroom since I’d never been back in this part of her penthouse.

  She helped me by pointing which direction to take. Her home was quite large for a penthouse. At least four rooms and three bathrooms that I could see, plus an office that rivaled the one she had floors below us.

  “Rest up, Mia. Tomorrow, we’re going out. And I’m going to make you come next time with my fingers and tongue. We’ll give yours a break. They worked hard tonight.” I smiled as she rolled her eyes.

  I laid her down in her bed and stood. Her hair was splayed around her head like a mermaid under the sea, another sight that made me wanna drop to my knees and continue worshipping her body.

  Tomorrow.

  “Thanks, Logan. I felt really sexy there, and I know it’s because of you.” She turned over, her arms snuggling the pillow while solemnly looking at me.

  “You are sexy, even now with that sleepy look on your face. You just needed a little push to see it for yourself. Everything I said was true. You did that all by yourself.”

  She nodded, maybe believing me and maybe not.

  “The key to confidence and feeling attractive isn’t that you have to feel this way all the time. It’s knowing that you are enough. That, when you want something,
like to drive a man wild, that you have the power inside you to do it. If you believe that you are enough, then you can accomplish anything.” I inclined my body one more time to push back her hair and kiss her lips before murmuring that I’d see her tomorrow.

  “Night, Logan,” she mumbled into the pillow as I began leaving the room.

  She was already chasing the sleep that beckoned her.

  “Night, Mia.”

  I saw myself out of her penthouse, making sure the door was locked behind me. I felt high on life with every step toward my Jeep and the whole drive home.

  My pink mailbox greeted me as I turned into the driveway. My friends had thought it would be a funny housewarming present to give to me, but joke was on them because I liked it.

  About a year and a half after my wife and I’d divorced, I’d finally decided to do something we’d argued about and bought some land. I had a two-bedroom house—one room for sleeping and the other for my office. Kitchen was sweet and had all the newest appliances to cook with. The two bathrooms were normal with a tub I could soak in if I wanted and a shower big enough to not feel claustrophobic.

  My home was my happy place. I had a stocked pond, workout equipment, trees, and a bike trail I rode and sometimes jogged when I wanted. It wasn’t as nice as living in a huge hotel like Mia did, but I was happy. It was mine.

  I parked in the garage and started shucking off my clothes in the laundry room as soon as I opened the door. Naked as the day I was born, I walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer. My blood was still boiling, and my body felt alive from the sexy kitchen time with Mia.

  She had come alive under her own fingers and loved that I was watching her do it.

  After hearing her pain and everything she had gone through with her ex, I was feeling so much. I was so overwhelmed by the need to claim her, show her desire. She truly let everything go, and I saw it happen with my very eyes. The moment had been too powerful, and there was nothing in my head, except crashing my lips against her. Raw need, driven by the amazing woman she was right now. So strong and brave

  God, she was such perfection, and she didn’t even see it.

  But she was starting to understand that she was enough as she was, and I was sure as shit happy to watch her find herself. Both mentally and sexually.

  She was blossoming into her own person, and that sensual side of her was going to wreck me. I’d enjoy every minute of it though.

  I closed my eyes and imagined all the ways we were going to have fun over the next few weeks. No overthinking it, no stressing about only having her for a few weeks and what we’d do when it was over. We’d enjoy this right now and cross that bridge when we got there. Keeping it simple.

  I finished my beer, took a shower, and then lay down with the window open to let the nighttime breeze flow through my curtains, cooling my naked self.

  As I started to drift off, that nagging voice of my subconscious kept trying to tell me I was an idiot for thinking this thing with Mia was going to end. The thought already making a nightmare form in my head as sleep took hold of me.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Logan

  “What the fuck?” I groaned and reached over to my phone that rang from a number I didn’t recognize. I rolled back over after it ended, then a few seconds later it began again.

  I’d only been asleep for three hours when the ringing began.

  “Hello?” I answered harshly.

  “Well, hello to you, too, son.”

  I was awake now. Every nerve in my body was firing, signaling that I needed to get off this phone. People struggled with toxicity every day, and for some reason, they believed that you weren’t allowed to get rid of toxic family members. Like that right was only for friends and acquaintances. Nope. Anyone or anything that causes you unnecessary pain and stress could take a hike. Family or no.

  I was about to hang up, and my mother knew that.

  “Your father passed away this morning. I’ve never asked you for anything, but I want you here. I need you here to help me take care of everything. He would have wanted that.”

  My thumb hovered over the End Call button. Ready to press it and deep down I knew I should.

  But I couldn’t. Despite everything and despite knowing better, I moved my thumb away from my touch screen, and I brought the phone back to my ear.

  “I’m on my way,” I barked and then exited the call.

  I was doing this, not for them, but for me. I had no clue what I needed or why I’d said it. Maybe I would find closure even though I didn’t believe you ever got the true closure you needed. That was what the forgiveness letters were for—to let go for your own inner peace. But I had done that, and I’d found peace.

  In some way, going and helping Mom with the arrangements would be a true test of my forgiveness.

  Whatever motives behind me agreeing to go were pushed back into my mind. I had to call Callum and tell him I would be gone. I had to message Mia, letting her know, too. We’d continue our work, just as I had when she was in New York. Technically, this program could be done one hundred percent on the phone and video conference.

  She was growing into herself at a rapid pace. One week or so without me being in front of her would be good for her.

  Tension knotted in my shoulders at the resentment building that I wouldn’t get to witness her growth firsthand because I was choosing to go be around negative people and the death of my dad. But I was choosing it, so I’d most likely be adding that to my list of reasons I shouldn’t be going.

  Texts were made since it was only twelve thirty in the morning. Tickets were bought, my duffel bag was packed, and I was out the door and then in my Jeep. My flight left in one hour, but with it being the red-eye flight, there wasn’t bound to be any security lines to wait through.

  And there wasn’t. I was right on time and handing my boarding pass over to the attendant as soon as I arrived at the gate.

  Once settled into my seat, I debated on trying to get some rest during the seven hours and fifteen minutes it was gonna take to land in Salt Lake City. But my mind was racing. Memories I’d let go of were coming forward.

  Forgiveness and letting go were a continual battle you’d fight your whole life. Just because you let shit go didn’t mean there wouldn’t be more that came up, and you’d have to remember it wasn’t worth holding on to. There were bound to be many moments I was going to need a break to remember how far I’d come and that I was better off.

  I felt sadness that my dad had died. Despite them not being great parents, I still wanted them to have a good life. To find happiness that they couldn’t have with me. They were the type of couple that shouldn’t have had kids. They were too selfish. Always wanting to do everything without me, like I was a liability.

  Dad had always had a drinking problem, and he wasn’t the functional type of drunk either. Mom would leave me with him when I was five, and he would pass out on the couch as soon as she walked out the door. I was pretty self-sufficient then. Thank God I didn’t need to rely on him for anything. Mom wasn’t really any better. She didn’t drink, but there were personality disorders sprinkled in her mind that went unmedicated. She and Dad would fight and yell, and she’d throw coffee tables, dishes, or whatever else was around.

  But, when he stole my hard-earned money or we got into legit fistfights when I was sixteen, she wouldn’t leave him for me. Neither parent protected me against the other. Dad knew Mom needed help, and he didn’t care. Mom knew Dad was a drunk, and she did nothing. They provided food and shelter. That was the best they had done for me as parents.

  I’d become a psychologist, so I could help people like them help themselves so that no child would go through what I had gone through, but the rules and regulations had gotten in the way of true help.

  I’d still tell everyone to see a therapist or talk to someone if they were feeling mentally off in any way. There was no shame in trying to better yourself, admitting that you needed help. Only when you admitted you needed
it could the healing begin.

  I’d tried to get my parents help, but they’d laughed at me and went back to watching a football game.

  The need to slow my roll, decrease my rising blood pressure from all these painful memories, was nagging at me. I’d need a calm mentality to survive this trip.

  I lifted my right hand and folded my three middle fingers toward my palm, leaving the thumb and pinkie up.

  Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the seat and pressed my thumb against my right nostril and in through my left one. A deep breath filled my lungs, and then I lifted my thumb to press the pinkie against my left nostril, breathing out and then back in. I switched to the right side with the thumb, breathing in and then letting it out before letting go and pressing on the opposite. I breathed in and let go of the shit in my head with every exhale.

  Alternate breathing was a practice from yoga that helped lower blood pressure, revitalized you when you were feeling tired or stressed, regulated body temperature, and calmed your nervous system. Essentially, it was a way to calm yourself down when you were stressed or anxiety-ridden. I’d often have my clients do it when they were in a moment of panic. It would bring them back to the now, which I desperately needed to ground myself.

  The deep breaths slowly wound me down, enough to sleep until the plane landed at our first stop. I checked my phone as soon as I could turn it off of Airplane mode and found that Callum had taken care of everything with Inspired, along with a message from Mia.

  Mia: I’m so, so, sorry about your dad. If you need anything, I am here for you! So sorry.

  I smiled thinking of her, how caring she was, and that she really would do anything if I needed it. That’s just who she was.

  Logan: Thanks. Seeing your face would be nice.

  She replied almost instantly.

  Oh, fuck me sideways.

  Mia: As you wish. Fly safe, and if you need anything…