Guiding Lights Page 7

  “Ah will be back. Ah think Ah need a shower. Maybe a cold one.” He kissed me one last time and then pulled back, opened the door, and left.

  I closed it behind him and sagged against it. My fingers touched my lips. I’d kissed Wolfe. It was done. A smile broke out on my swollen lips and I got dressed before he came barging back into my room.

  I put on my I love big books t-shirt and pj pants again and sat on my bed, remembering that kiss. It had been wonderful. As far as first kisses went, it was amazing.

  Wolfe strolled in about ten minutes later, changed into a pair of pj pants and t-shirt himself. He had a big smile on his face.

  “Must have been a good shower,” I bit back the laugh that threatened to escape.

  “Aye, Ah had some good thoughts to keep me company.” He winked and sat next to me on the bed. His arms scooped me up and settled me onto his lap. Sitting there in his arms, I was unsure of what to say now.

  “No thinking, just let it be,” he whispered against my hair. I nodded and leaned into him.

  “Want me to keep reading now? We are almost done.” Reading to him seemed like a good place to go. It worked for me, and it seemed to soothe him.

  “Aye.” He stood up, with me in his arms, and lay me back on the bed, my head on the pillow. He then walked over to the light switch and turned it off before he crawled in right next to me, making himself comfortable. I reached over and turned on the little lamp next to the bed, grabbing the book beside it.

  My voice was husky at first, but the more I read, the more my body calmed down. Wolfe was quiet and his breathing was even as he lay still beside me. His warmth radiated against me, keeping me toasty. He didn’t press me for more kisses or any other form of touching, and for that, I was grateful. I really did need to take this slow. I read on until I was at the last chapter. I looked over and saw Wolfe was sound asleep. I put the book down, so he wouldn’t miss the ending.

  I took the opportunity to look at him without the intensity of his gaze staring back at me. I was scared of him. Not that he would hurt me physically, but he had the power to destroy me. He was right about one thing: I wasn’t going to run. Whether it was what Hannah said to me earlier or the thought of him walking away completely that changed my mind, I was choosing Wolfe for now. I listened to his soft, even breathing, and fell asleep.

  Hands touching me, his breath against my neck made me cry in fear. I lay there still, just like I was supposed to, while he ran his hands across my chest. His fingers grabbed my chin and he harshly jerked my head to look at him.

  “You will give yourself to me. But first, I want your lips,” he whispered and leaned in.

  “Noo!!” I screamed, waking myself up from my nightmare. Strong arms wrapped around me and held me close while I fought hard trying to escape!

  “Nera, it’s Wolfe, it’s me. I’m here.” It was Wolfe, not him. I turned and looked at Wolfe in the darkness of night, my eyes wide, and I remembered. He’d fallen asleep while I was reading, and I’d decided to let him stay.

  “I’m sorry,” I croaked. My voice was shattered, and the nightmare still lingered in my head.

  Wolfe’s arms tightened and he remained silent. He inhaled a large breath of air and closed his eyes. Bringing his forehead to mine, he began speaking; his voice deep and low. “Alexis was mah school love.”

  My breathing ceased as he uttered those words. All thoughts of my nightmare vanished. I was listening to his story with my whole being.

  “She was a theater girl. Loved tae act. She was bloody good tae. We were hopelessly in love and in the rock and roll scene; she was the one tae fall.” His voice fell, and I felt his body start to shake.

  “After one amazing show, we found out she was pregnant. Ah was excited, Ah always wanted a bunch of kids.” Tears started to fill my eyes. I knew there was no happy ending in this story.

  “She said she was clean; for the baby she’d quit using. But she lied. She was using heroine while pregnant with our baby. When I cut her off and told her no more, she threatened tae take her life and our baby’s.

  “She would have done it. The Alexis I knew was gone, and our baby was just a means tae use against me tae give her the drugs. Ah just wanted tae protect our little one.” His shoulder slumped and I found myself wrapping my arms around him to comfort him. Whatever he was about to say had shattered him. I still wasn’t sure why he was admitting this to me now.

  “Wolfe, you don’t have to tell me anymore,” I assured him. He simply shook his head.

  “Sometimes, the only way tae beat demons is tae fight them with demons.” His lifted his eyes to mine, and I saw them glistening. I leaned in and kissed him, wanting him to know how much all of this meant to me. He gave in for a few minutes, and then pulled back to tell me the rest of his story.

  “It was a lassie, a wee girl,” he whispered.

  “Alexis made it tae eight months before the drugs killed her and our daughter.” And there it was. The missing piece of his broken puzzle. I sat up and turned towards him, wrapping him again tightly in my arms.

  “I’m sorry, so sorry.” I cried against his shoulder.

  “Ye don’t have tae tell me what haunts ye right now. But know we can guide each other out of the darkness. Be a guiding light tae each other.” I pulled back and looked at him. I wished I could be that for him, but I wasn’t sure I could.

  “Do you know what Monera means?” I was curious if he knew. Most didn’t, but my father had chosen my name for a reason. I doubt he thought it would be for this reason, but with Wolfe’s words in mind, I found it ironic. He shook his head and waited for me to continue.

  “It actually means Guiding Light.” I gave him a smile, and when my words registered, he smiled too. At that moment, I felt something crack inside me. This beautiful man wanted me. He knew I was broken inside, and he still wanted to give it a shot. He’d told me something very meaningful to him, trusting me with that knowledge. Although I wasn’t ready to tell all of my secrets, I wanted to do something for him; I just wasn’t sure what.

  I leaned in and pressed my lips to his smile, catching him off guard. However, he instantly matched the passion in my kiss.

  “Ye are mah woman, Nera,” he growled against my lips, shaking at the feelings in his words. No more running, he had chased away my demons for the night, and I wanted to chase away his.

  I eased back while my hands drifted down to the hem of his shirt. Slowly, I pulled it up, he lifted his arms, and I pulled it over his head. I looked down and could see the outline of his chiseled chest in the moonlight.

  I was in uncharted territory, wanting to do something like this for someone. I found his eyes and held them as I gripped my shirt and dragged it over my head. I heard his sharp intake of breath and knew I’d surprised him. I was nervous as hell; this was a huge step. The feel of my skin against his was all I could offer to him for now.

  “Have ye ever done anything like this?” His voice was thick with lust. Goosebumps broke out over my skin and I shook my head.

  “Not like this.” It was the truth. I’ve never been with someone I wanted as I wanted him. I leaned against him, chest to chest, and pressed my lips to his while his hands slid around my back, bringing us even closer. Our heartbeats were in harmony, perfectly erratic together.

  Chapter Fifteen

  We consumed each other with a fierce passion incomparable to anything else I’d ever felt. His hands explored my bare back, following my every curve, up my spine, and back down to my hips. His grip tightened and he lifted me and lay me on the bed, covering my body with his. Our lips still attached, his hands moved up and took mine, pulling them above my head, our fingers entwined. His hips settled between my legs, and I felt him there. I felt the panic start to creep up inside me. I was definitely not ready for this yet.

  As if he could feel my unease, he slowed our kiss and finally pulled back, only to reach down and grab the covers for us. He rolled over and brought me with him so I was half lying on him, my head on hi
s chest.

  “We should probably get some rest.” He voice was still rough from with passion. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. Like I could sleep now? I decided I would get to know this strong man some more.

  “Do you have a favorite color?” I inquired. He chuckled but answered.

  “Grey.” His reply made me curious, why grey?

  “Just always liked it. No particular reason, although, Ah do think ah look good in grey. Wouldn’t ye agree?” he teased. I just shook my head at his attempt to get me to say he looked good. He already knew it, there was no need to stroke his ego.

  “What about ye?”

  “Turquoise, it’s a beautiful color,” I smiled, thinking about things that were turquoise. Beaches that I would one day travel to. Beautiful birds I’d seen in Spain.

  Back and forth, we asked questions and learned about each other. Wolfe grew up with his mother, where she made him home cooked meals every night after working during the day as a teacher. He loved having movie marathons and wrestling around with his lads, as he had in the highland games.

  We kept the questions light, never steering toward anything that would upset the other. I admitted to him that I’d been somewhat sheltered, so movies weren’t something I’d seen often. I didn’t admit that it was because my mother didn’t want me to have the luxury of TV. He asked me what my favorite animal was, and I had to think about it for a few minutes.

  “Horses. When I was younger, my father took me to a friend’s house; they had horses. There was this beautiful black Andalusian horse. He was so majestic and beautiful. While my father had his meeting with his friend, I sat by the horse and told him stories.” I smiled, thinking about that memory. It was sad that I hadn’t let myself think of happy memories like that in a long time. Numbing yourself to emotions meant all emotions, the good along with the bad.

  My yawn interrupted our questions, and Wolfe urged me to try to get some more sleep. It wasn’t long, in the comfort and safety of Wolfe’s arms, that I found a peaceful slumber.

  I woke up in the same position I’d gone back to sleep in, with Wolfe surrounding me. Slowly, I lifted my head to see his face. He was awake and looking at me.

  “Mornin, Nera,” he mused. I’d never woken up next to a man; I was making progress.

  “Morning, Wolfe.” I smiled.

  “Yer not gonna run from mah now that it’s daylight, are ye? Because now Ah will have tae chase yer arse down.” He looked like he was joking, but I knew there was an underlying fear. I was the queen of running, and he was waiting for me to panic and freak out. I’d made my decision last night and I would stand by it and try.

  “No more running.” I scooted up and gave him a quick kiss. I sat up, turned my back to him, and got up to use the restroom, grabbing my shirt from the floor on the way. After brushing my teeth and using the toilet, I went back out to find him waiting for me. He winked and walked into the bathroom himself. Oh, how things had changed in twenty-four hours.

  Once Wolfe came out, he walked over to me and gripped my hand, mingling our fingers together.

  “Let me take ye out for breakfast.” His big bearded smile won me over. We left my room, and he led us to the dining room. A big smile graced my face when we approached the table. He did take me out for breakfast. And it was a damn good breakfast. I eyed those biscuits something fierce.

  “Morning, dears.” Aggie’s eyes lit up seeing us together. Blush filled my cheeks. I looked at the other occupants of the table and saw that Hannah was giving me a knowing smile, and Aggie was looking at us with happiness. Everyone else was oblivious to the big change in my life. It was hard to believe that the world continued after my night with Wolfe. Time seemed to have slowed, and both of had taken such large steps.

  “Well, don’t just stand there, Ah saw ye eyeing those biscuits,” Aggie teased and gestured toward the table. Wolfe and I moved together and found our seats. Reluctantly, we let go of the other’s hand and ate our food. Most everyone was talking about the games yesterday. Hannah was a riot. She was after one of the competitors, and I couldn’t wait to see if she would land him.

  After breakfast, Wolfe had to make a few calls and I needed to get some laundry done. He kissed me hard and then let me go, walking off toward his room. About an hour passed and I was waiting for my small load of laundry to dry when Wolfe found me again.

  He leaned against the doorway, standing there while I looked out the little window of the door in the small room. I felt his presence before he ever said anything. Ever since our lips touched, I’ve been so attuned to him. I’ve never experienced these feelings, except while reading my books. I turned around and faced him with a faint blush on my cheeks.

  “How were your phone calls?” I asked, trying to break the silence and stare.

  “As exciting as phone calls can be. Mah maw wants me tae come home a day early, so Ah will be leaving tonight.” He smiled and then closed the distance between us. The two of in this room made it seem very cramped in here. I moved back, not exactly trying to escape but just to give him more room to enter. My butt hit the dryer, and I was out of space.

  “So, any plans for the day?” His body was closing in on mine. Pinning me to the dryer, I tried to ask something innocent. Nothing that indicated how hot I burned inside for his touch. His hands touched the sides of my hips and I was staring at his lips. They were so delectable.

  “Kissing mah woman.” He leaned in slowly and did just that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  At the first taste of his tongue, I was gone. Floating out of my body, I enjoyed the way we relished in each other. It seemed that our desire for each other was exploding, and we could barely keep our hands and lips away from one another. This time, I was just following his lead, letting him command me how he saw fit.

  He knew I needed slow and he hadn’t complained about that. It made me hopeful that he would be patient with me. It’s not as if I didn’t want him to shuck my pants off right here and take me, I did. I so did. I just needed something different from what I’d had. I needed to feel safe, and that I was more than just a romp in the sack. With everything I’d been through, I deserved that.

  Our hands were frantic, touching everything they could. Our kiss grew more heated and with that, a small breathy moan escaped my lips. I felt his fingers dig into my sides, heard his low growl, and then I was being hoisted up onto the old dryer. With his hands on my ass, he gripped me and pulled me flush against his cock. A shudder rolled through me.

  “Trust me?” he groaned into my mouth. I trusted him. I nodded yes against his mouth. At the vibrations of the dryer, tension was building deep in my core and with his cock pressed against my sex, I felt that maybe I would finally experience something I’d never had before. An orgasm. Dry humping each other wasn’t too bad, was it? His lips left mine, sliding down to kiss and suck on my neck. All thoughts of whether I should or shouldn’t fled my mind.

  With the first roll of his hips against me, I could see what all the fuss was about. It felt amazing, and I wanted more. My hands gripped his hair, tied up in his bun, and pulled him closer to me. Urging him to move more. I needed it. I knew it was going to be life altering, and I wanted it.

  He rubbed his cock against me over and over, his lips crashing against mine. All tongues and teeth clashing. My arms gripped him with everything I had while he moved against me. His hands pulled me closer, adding to the pressure. The vibrations, mixed with his kisses and cock, finally did me in. My body exploded with pleasure. He swallowed my every sound with a groan of his own.

  We stayed there, just breathing into each other, while I came down from my euphoria. I couldn’t believe I’d done that. Holy shit, that was amazing. No darkness from my past crept in or anything. It was Wolfe, and I was sated.

  “Incredible.” His voice was so husky and beyond sexy. He kissed me soft and sweet this time. Why had I tried so hard to stay away from him?

  “I’ll say,” I huffed. Then the dryer buzzed loudly indicating that my cl
othes were done. He backed up slightly so I could hop down.

  “Ah was thinking of getting in some guitar time out by the shore. Care tae bring ye Kindle and keep me company?” His smile was as sweet as his request. I had to work again tonight, and relaxing with Wolfe sounded good. I nodded.

  “Sounds perfect.” He leaned down and kissed my nose, his beard tickling my lips.

  “Ye are perfect, Nera. So fucking amazing.” He grinned and stepped back.

  “Ah will be out by the shore, join me anytime.” He gave me one last look, which spoke volumes and left the room. I just stood there in shock. I’d just had my first orgasm with a hot singing Scottish man on a dryer. If that didn’t scream amazing, I didn’t know what did.

  Wolfe had a way of denying me the chance to freak out or get angry. It was only afterward, when I had that moment in my head to myself, that I could panic. But there was none of that now. No, something had been released inside me. Honestly, I think it started to break when I first heard him sing. He’d shown me a glimpse of the light at the end of the darkness.

  I quickly folded my clothes and carried them up to my room. I put on my shoes, grabbed my Kindle, and headed out to meet Wolfe.

  He was sitting on a blanket, looking out at the water, and strumming notes on his guitar. The vision looked like a postcard. If Durness marketed it, people would flock to see him playing his guitar on the beach.

  “Have you thought about what I said about trying to do more with your music? You really are talented.” I smiled at him as I sat down.

  “I’m not sure what Ah want tae do right now. Means a lot that ye believe in me so much.” He leaned over and kissed me sweetly. He pulled back and started strumming his strings again then stopped and wrote something down on a little pad. Curiosity got the best of me.

  “What are you writing? A song?” I lifted my chin, trying to catch a peek. He shielded it from me and feigned innocence.