Guiding Lights Read online

  “All sorts of things.” I didn’t want to tell him my favorite was romance, well erotica to be more exact. I loved reading about some good fucking. My room was simple. There were no photos or anything from my home. Just the eight outfits I owned hanging in the little closet, and the same three paperbacks I had sitting on the little desk. It wasn’t much, but everything I needed could fit in the backpack I’d stashed under my bed. The money I made at the pub was for food, this room, minor activities, and then I saved the rest. Evan was nice enough to pay me cash under the table. It kept things easier for me.

  “Ah see,” he said and I turned back to see him holding In Flight by R.K. Lilley. Once again, a blush hit my cheeks when he flipped it over and read the blurb. It was one of my absolute favorites; James Cavendish was perfect. Caring, Alpha possessive, and head over heels for Bianca. Sometimes, I wished I could have a guy like that. It would be nice if he had money, too. He could buy me a library. Oh that would be heaven for me. But alas, that was a pipe dream. I walked over to my bed and sat down, crossing my legs beneath me.

  “That one is a favorite of mine. Do you read?” I murmured, trying to keep the conversation going and getting rid of the awkward silence.

  “Na, reading has never been mah thing.” He put the book down and came to sit down next to me on the bed. I wanted to scooch over, but didn’t want to show him any sign that I was uncomfortable.

  “What do you like to do?” I looked at him and gave him a light smile. He blew out a deep breath and answered.

  “Music. It’s been mah thing ever since I could remember.” I nodded, thinking back to last night. He was very good; he was definitely someone who could capture an audience.

  “Have you ever thought of trying to play your music in bigger venues? You’re really good.” My voice sounded quite enthusiastic. Maybe it was because I could never have the dream life I wanted, if someone else could, I tried to encourage them to do it. He just shrugged and looked away. I guess it was a touchy subject.

  “Well, you’re good; you should look into it. Maybe there is someone that can help you, like an agent or something?”

  He looked back at me with a sweet grin on his face. At that moment, I wanted to touch him. Run my fingers in his hair.

  The way he looked at me, while we were real close on my bed confused my poor little body. Maybe trying to be friends was a bad decision.

  “What’s your story, Nera?” he probed. I answered him the only way I could.

  “Not too much to tell. Left home when I was seventeen, been traveling around ever since.” It was the shortened, less detailed version. But it would work. His face told me he had expected more. So I just pulled a Wolfe and shrugged.

  “What about you?” He laid back and placed his arms up under his head. My eyes stayed glued to the strip of hard muscle that was on display between his risen shirt and low riding pajama pants. My mouth watered. How was it possible to have that much sexual magnetism in one male specimen? He was very book boyfriend worthy hot. Reigning in my female hormones, I waited for his answer.

  “Ah live a very busy life. I just wanted to get away from that. Just relax.” His reply seemed simple, but like mine I knew there was more to it.

  “How long are you taking your little resting time?”

  “However long I can.” he replied. Then countered.

  “How long are ye staying in Durness?”

  A small smile graced my face.

  “However long I can.” I laid back next to him, soaking up the feeling of being so close to another person. I wasn’t sure what to say after that, and he was in no rush for conversation either. So we just laid there next to each other. Listening to the other’s breathing and the clatter of plates and voices below.

  After some time, I broke the silence. I figured I would be brave and let him know some things about me. It would save us both in the end.

  “This can’t be more than what it is now. I’m broken, and I won’t ever be anything more.” I kept my eyes on the ceiling, not wanting to see his face.

  “We’ll see.” I felt the bed move and saw him turn onto his side through my peripheral vision.

  “Ye are a guiding light out of the darkness, Nera. Ye are just stuck in the dark sea yerself, ye don’t realize it yet.” My gaze was once again fixed onto his. He thought I was a light out the darkness. I just shook my head.

  “No, Wolfe, I’m not.” A small smile grew on his face as he leaned in. My breath got stuck in my chest. Was he going to kiss me? Shit, what would I do? I closed my eyes and felt something scratchy on my lips before feeling him press a little kiss to my pert nose. Then it was gone. My eyes opened to see him looking down at me.

  “Ah have some things I’ve got tae go do now, but ye’ll be around?”

  “Yeah, like I said, I’m probably just going to read today. I have to work tonight.” He pondered over my answer.

  “I’ll see ye tonight, Nera. Enjoy ye reading.” He got up and walked toward the door. He turned and gave me a second look, then left. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out what was happening here. However, I had no answers. It wouldn’t be hard to get him to leave me alone. All I had to do was tell him my secrets. But I would never do that. My secrets where what kept me going. I just hoped he would be the bigger man and listen to my warnings.

  Chapter Four

  The wind felt nice as my feet pounded the pavement. I had read for most of the day, just like I said I would then decided to go on my run before going to work. I didn’t think it would be too busy on a Sunday, but it was anybody’s guess.

  The runs had become one of my favorite past times. I ran along the roads, taking in the gorgeous scenery of the Scottish land. The hills rolled before me then came to an abrupt end at the edge of the cliffs. Out of all the places I had travelled so far, Scotland stood out the most. It was timeless and had an almost magical quality to it. My breath was labored, and my muscles burned as I ran. But I was pretty proud of myself. I was getting good at running, and I was actually starting to enjoy it as a hobby.

  I made it back to the B&B all sweaty and wired. There was a nice stockpile of bottled water in the fridge, and I made my way toward it. Everyone seemed to be busy, and paid me no mind.

  After grabbing some water and drinking it down, I was in desperate need of a shower. There was no one around on my way to my room; it was quiet and peaceful, not that I minded the noise. But I didn’t want to stop and chat while red in the face and probably smelling of sweat.

  I couldn’t help but look down the hall while holding the knob to my door. I wondered what Wolfe was doing. I’d tried not to think of him during my run, but he was a mystery to me. I knew he had seen sorrow in his life. I just couldn’t figure out what his objective was with me. He knew I was broken. I had friggin told him, yet he still wanted to be around me. Maybe he was truly looking for friends. I shook my head and went inside my room.

  The hot spray from the water was heaven to my muscles. I washed myself quickly and dried off. I had another thirty minutes till I had to be at the pub for work. My feet moved swiftly toward my slippers so my they wouldn’t get cold on the wooden floors, and then I walked over to my little dresser. I didn’t have anything in three out of the four drawers. My hands grabbed some lace and I examined the intimates.

  My mother never let me wear anything pretty for undergarments. I was only allowed a sports bra and simple panties. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but I’d always read about the sexy little numbers a sweet girl would wear under her every day outfit. It gave her confidence, knowing she wore something so desirable underneath.

  So, as soon as I left home, I went and bought sexy panties and bras. They were nothing over the top, just simple lace and silk in a few colors. I tended to favor black though. I chose my pair and put them on then dressed in some simple jeans, and my Spurtle t-shirt. I looked at my reflection and threw my hair up into a ponytail. I felt I looked simple at the moment, and I liked that. I didn’t want to stand out, and I w
asn’t dressing up for anyone.

  The time passed quickly, and then I was grabbing my jacket and walking over to work. I knew tonight wouldn’t be very busy. Sundays never were. We usually closed early, around midnight.

  There were a few customers having some a dinner as I walked in. I looked over to the clock and saw I was right on time. 7:00 PM on the dot.

  Emma’s distinct laugh drew my gaze to the right of the bar where she was leaning in toward a guy. Her boobs were practically in his face while she flirted, putting out all of her moves. I shook my head as I saw her run her hand up his bicep. Poor guy. I shoved my jacket under the bar and walked over toward her. I needed to know if there was anything she wanted me to do before I started cutting lemons and limes.

  As I got closer, the man’s voice started to sound familiar. My interest was piqued. Just as I made it to them, the man turned and I was staring into honey-colored eyes. Foreign feelings of jealousy ran through my body at the thought of Emma flirting with him. But I swallowed it down and hid it in the depths of my mind. He could do whatever and whoever he wanted.

  “Nera! Ye’ve met Wolfe right? The singer from last night.” She squealed in excitement. My stupid eyes narrowed at her hand while she moved it across his chest and back to his arm. My gaze flicked back to his to see amusement etched on his face. I just rolled my eyes, trying to cover up that her touching him was getting to me.

  “Yes, Wolfe, nice seeing you again. Um, I didn’t mean to interrupt; is there anything you needed me to do before I get started on the regular stuff?” I just looked at her and ignored the heat of his eyes as he watched me. She seemed to ponder my question then shook her head.

  “Na, it’s dead. Ye can do whatever.” She gave me a wink and I walked off to get started. It wasn’t long before Emma’s laughter returned. I refused to look their way while I cut a couple lemons and rolled silverware.

  I was almost done with putting fresh buckets of ice in the cooler when I turned and saw Wolfe sitting right in front of me at the bar. I looked around and saw Emma was taking care of customers and conversing with them sweetly.

  “How was yer day?” His voice was calm and inquisitive.

  “It was pretty good. I read all day, went for a run, and now I’m here.” I looked at the clock and noticed it was only eight. I was running out of things to do for the moment. All of the little stuff was done.

  “So, did Mr. Bonnie satisfy ye tae yer liking?” he smirked.

  My cheeks turned red again. Had he looked up who Mr. Beautiful was from my book?

  “Always,” I smirked right back. His head tilted back and a deep throaty laugh followed. I did have to admit, no matter what noises came out of his mouth, they were sexy. Wolfe laughing, talking, singing, it was all something that should be recorded to listen to on a rainy day, to soothe any stresses of the day away. I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me. His laugh was contagious.

  After a few minutes, our laughter died down. It was nice to laugh, even at our little conversation with each other.

  “Are ye working tomorrow, too?” His eyes held a bit of vulnerability in them. It was sort of nice to know that he was as unsure about me as I was unsure about him. I shook my head.

  “Nope, I’m off tomorrow.” I was curious to see where he was going with this. Did he want to spend more time with me or was he just making simple conversation?

  “I was thinking about going down to Smoo cave tomorrow morning. Ye should come.” He watched me and smiled when he saw the beaming smile that hit my face. I hadn’t made it down to the cave yet, but it was something I had wanted to do.

  “Yes! I wanna go,” I cheered. Tomorrow was supposed to be a nice day. A little on the breezy side, but the sun would be out. It would be awesome.

  “Great. I’ll pick ye up at yer place. Say 9:00 AM?” he teased. Considering his place and my place were in the same hall, it was quite amusing. My eyes rolled at him, but my smile was still glued up.

  “Sounds good.” I looked around, seeing if anyone needed my attention, and there was nothing. Geez, tonight really was slow. I would need to pick up another shift this week to try to make up the tips from tonight. Evan would probably end up sending me home early.

  “Shitty night,” he commented, and I agreed.

  “Yeah, it has its moments. Sundays are usually pretty slow. Everyone is getting ready for bed by now.” A yawn hit me at the mention of bed.

  “Ye must be tired. What else besides work ‘n’ reading do ye spend yer time on?” It was a simple question.

  “I like running and exploring; there are a lot of cool places in Scotland I would like to see. I wish I had more books to read though. Maybe I will go visit a library soon.” I said the last part to myself, but of course, I said it out loud. He seemed to be taking it all in.

  “Do ye like music? Movies? Sports?”

  I shook my head. None of those things really caught my attention. I liked to listen to music, but I didn’t have a radio or anything. I wasn’t up to date on any new bands or movies that were out. Sport were maybe something I could get into, but had never had the opportunity, although Aggie and Evan often talked about highland games. It sounded interesting, Scots walking around in kilts throwing heavy things around. I realized I hadn’t said anything to him, but I was wearing a goofy grin thinking about Scot men in kilts.

  “Uh, not really. I’m not up to date on any movies or bands. The only music I hear is what is played here, or in the morning when Aggie plays Elvis. She really likes him. I wanna see a highland game, but I haven’t had the chance to yet.” I leaned in on the bar, taking some of the weight off my feet. I looked around and still nothing. Emma was sitting down, chatting with some people I assumed were her friends. My gaze went back to him, and I saw him chewing on his lower lip. He seemed to be pondering something. I saw an inner debate going on in those eyes. He had something to tell me, but wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell me. I didn’t want to know his secrets, or anything he might think I shouldn’t know. Telling me his secrets might result in him wanting to know mine. And that wasn’t happening, so I moved the subject along.

  “Maybe I’ll ask Evan when a game is going on, and go check it out,” I shrugged. I watched as the decision he was debating was made. He wasn’t going to tell me, and I was perfectly fine with that.

  Chapter Five

  The light from the early morning sun was starting to peek through the windows of my room. I’d been awake for about an hour now just thinking. Last night at work, Wolfe just sat there and talked with me about nothing significant until Evan came and told me I could head out early. I was kind of relieved that I didn’t have to stand around any longer, but If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to end my time with Wolfe. He was sweet and walked me back to the B&B then said goodnight before heading down to his room. Three doors down.

  As soon as I had woken up, my thoughts jumped to him. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. But I did know I wanted him as a friend, something about him made me feel at ease and aggravated all at the same time. The feeling of aggravation was because he was so interested in talking to me when I had clearly told him not to try and figure me out. It was subtle, but he was trying.

  He would ask me questions last night about home and I would give him simple answers without giving away a ton of details. I told him about Morocco, and the other places I’d traveled. He listened and then we talked about the common places we had been. He was extremely well traveled.

  I’d asked him if he did anything for a living, and he just shrugged and said he was taking a break from his career. He was trying to figure out what he wanted out of life. It was kind of deep for someone the age of twenty-seven. I asked him if he had thought anymore about what I’d said about talking to someone about making something out of his singing career, but he just shrugged again. I dropped it for the moment, but he had real talent. Pure body shivering voice and grab your tissues lyrics.

  Not to mention that he had that whole take your panties off a
nd try to climb him good looks. His man bun and beard had really grown on me as well. While he talked in that sexy voice, I actually longed to release his hair and feel it in my hands.

  I had a crush. Plain and simple. But who wouldn’t? Emma had come back and chatted with him a couple times. He was nice to her and jealousy would start to peek out before I pushed it back. Those feelings would get me nowhere except heartbreak. If he ever found out about why I’d left my home, he would leave me. It wasn’t worth it. I’d had a hard enough life without adding a broken heart to the mix. I pulled the blanket over my head and let out a sigh.

  Pushing back all of those dark thoughts, I focused on today. Wolfe and I were going to the Smoo cave. One of the true attractions of Durness, I was actually very excited about this little adventure. Deciding that now was a good time to get up, I threw the blanket off, rolled out of bed, and shuffled into the bathroom.

  Once I was done, I started to get dressed.

  I picked the one sweater top and paired in with a nice pair of jeans. The sweater was plum colored and had a scooped neck so it showed off my collarbones. I braided my hair to the side, and it fell over my shoulder and ended right over my breast. My hair was long, I hadn’t gotten it cut in a long time. But now it was kind of a hassle, and I was debating on cutting it sort of short. I gave myself a once over in the mirror and went back to my bed. Deciding I looked good and I didn’t have anything else to waste time on until nine, I lay down and read some more.

  A knock on my door interrupted me. I looked at the clock on the nightstand; Wolfe wasn’t due for another thirty minutes. Folding the top of the page so I wouldn’t lose my spot, I set the book down and got up to answer my door.

  Wolfe’s honey eyes greeted me once the door opened.

  “Mornin, Nera, I figured we could git some breakfast before headin tae the cave.”