The Final Chase (Final Love Book 2) Read online

  “Pizza, Rayne. Why the hell are you asking me stupid questions in the hallway of my apartment?” I flailed out of her hold on my shoulders. I hadn’t talked to her since she and Arson had come to visit the rescue, which now that I was thinking about it, was probably the reason why she was here. Which she confirmed.

  “I hadn’t heard from you since we were at the rescue, and your apartment stinks. My pregnancy nose can’t handle it unless you want me to barf all over your living room.” She pointed a finger at me, as if I was in trouble. I just shrugged.

  “Cammy, what happened? This is not like you at all.” Her face was full of concern. I wanted to vomit out the words but I wasn’t ready yet.

  “Remember when you cut things off with Arson, and I was there for you? No explanations, nothing? That’s what I need. I don’t want to talk about it right now. I want to sit on my couch, watch my show, and eat my Chinese food. I feel like shit, I’m on my period, and I’m an emotional wreck.” I watched as her face turned from concern to sadness. She knew at least some of what I was feeling. Not all of it, but she had hit this point in her life when she was devastated, and all she could do was cry and go through the motions. Almost every night I stayed with her and was there for her. Her devastation ended when Arson fixed their problems. Mine couldn’t be fixed. You couldn’t make someone be somebody that they weren’t.

  “Ok, well, can you at least make your apartment smell a little better and I will be there for you, like you were for me?” She gave me those puppy dog eyes and I huffed a bit, but when I went back into my apartment, I threw away some food wrappers, opened a window and lit some candles. Hopefully that would help. I didn’t want her to be sick. She came into my apartment, but didn’t barf right away, so we figured she no longer would need a hazmat suit.

  Together we watched more episodes of Lucifer, and pigged out together. She was pregnant, and I was depressed. Together we were the devourers of food. She spent the night with me, but had to leave in the morning to meet Arson for breakfast. I knew how I was acting was unhealthy, but I couldn’t get out of it.

  Another week passed and I was starting to feel a tiny bit better. I didn’t cry every night for hours. Maybe only like two.

  “We are going out tonight, no buts. I’ll drag you out by your red hair if I have to.” Mary barged into my office. I looked at her and nodded. I could go out. Maybe it would be good for me. She looked taken aback that I agreed to go, but then pointed her finger at me with a serious expression on her face.

  “Get your ass in my chair, we are going to pamper you up, then you’re going to go home, put on a pretty dress and stellar heels. I will have Rayne pick you up at eight. We’ve got five hours. Move it!” She was like a parent yelling at her child. Hitler mommy. Having no fight in me, I turned off my computer that I was just staring at anyway, and sat in her chair. She gave me a light trim, and wrapped my hair up high. I was then pushed into one of the massage rooms, given a treatment which was sort of painful since I was so tense, but it still felt good. Then I was given a pedi and mani. Red polish. A powerful color. They were trying to get me to buck up. Mary put me back in her chair and began to style my hair straight. My hair always looked so long this way, but I hadn’t had the time prior to my auto pilot like state to work it.

  “Get home. Rayne will be there to get you in a bit.” I felt like a sheep being herded by a dog. I was never truly one to take orders; only Jake could make me do things like that. It made me feel worse that I wasn’t myself. I wanted to change, I wanted to forget the pain of losing Casey, and giving up Jake. As soon as I got home, I really tried hard to bring back the happy, spirited Cammy that I always saw in the mirror. But I failed. A part of me was broken, and until I was put back together, I wouldn’t be the same woman. Once I finished getting ready, I looked in the mirror and saw the Cammy everyone else knew. They would have to be satisfied with that. Rayne knocked on my door a few moments later.

  “Is it safe to come in? I’m feeling extra smell sensitive today.” I opened the door, and tried to smile.

  “The apartment is stank free.” She walked in and took a whiff. I had cleaned up a bit, in my attempt to feel better.

  “You look better, but are you actually doing better?” She looked me over but saw right through my put-together exterior. I shrugged.

  “Not really. I’m broken and I don’t see me being fixed anytime soon. Give me some time.” It was the best answer I could give her. Time. Hopefully time would do as they say and heal all. We walked down to her car and she drove us to Jackie D’s. As we pulled in the parking lot, I wanted to tell her to take me home. Asia got out of the car, I was reliving my memories with Jake, and how this all started. It was here that he threw down his intent to chase me and that he was my alpha. It was here that I sang karaoke to him and passed out, landing me at his house, and losing that stupid bet.

  Both Mary and Rayne tried to get me to cheer up, but being here was beginning to be too much. “I need some air. Alone,” I told them, and started walking out the back towards the beach. Taking my shoes off, I walked to the water’s edge. There was no one around and I finally let a few tears fall that had been brimming in my eyes since I got to the bar. I sat on the sand, even in my pretty dress, and tried to calm myself. I needed to break free from this pain. I was hurting so much, and I didn’t want the sorrow anymore. I felt someone behind me, and turned quickly. I may have been out of my mind but I didn’t want to die on the beach because I wasn’t paying attention. I had to squint a little to see whom the figure silhouetted by the bar’s lights was, but when it registered, I felt like crying all over again.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Jake.” His name was a whisper on my lips.

  “Sweetheart.” Hearing my nickname coming from his did me in, I cried. I felt his arms wrap around me and scoop me up against him. It felt so good to be in his arms. My hands touched him, and my tears soaked his shirt. He walked us over to a beach chair that was still in sight of the bar’s lights, but not as bright.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” As my words came out, my lips were in search of his. I needed him, I needed him to take away the pain.

  “Make me forget for just a moment. Please Jake.” My hands started pulling at his belt. I was upset, but I still loved him and wanted him.

  “Sweetheart, I need you back in my life.” His lips found mind and that was the match to our fire. I didn’t give him an answer. I couldn’t be in his life, not in the way we both wanted. But we could have this moment.

  “You have me. Right now.” It was all I could do. Seeming okay with my answer, his hands slid to the hem of my dress and pushed it up. My fingers finished on his belt and made quick work of his zipper. With ease, he flipped us so I was beneath him, eagerly spreading my legs for him. I was ready, and needed him like nothing before. My tears had ceased and my mind was focused on one thing: no pain, no hurt, only Jake. His lips clashed with mine and he pushed my tiny panties to the side. We didn’t have long enough to take our time. We both knew this was our moment, and that was it.

  My back arched into him when he slid inside me, I cried out into his mouth, and felt at peace. He moved with long and hard strokes. Filling me over and over, like the waves as they constantly crashed onto the sand. His body pressed into mine and I wrapped my arms around him, needing the closeness. He was my everything, and yet he couldn’t be anything to me. I shut off my mind and gave into the sensations of the man selflessly giving me himself, when he knew I couldn’t give him what he wanted.

  “Oh God… Jake…” I was close. He lifted my right leg and brought it up to his hip, giving him a deeper angle.

  “That’s right, sweetheart. Give me your release.” He groaned into me as my pussy started to quiver. I was going to burst, and when his lips moved down my cheek and to my neck, I knew he was, too. The thought of him biting my neck while he came shot me straight into my release. My head rolled back as I silently screamed and the stars above us went black. When his teeth sunk into my should
er, I knew I would never come back from him. I would never love another man, and I could never give my body or soul to anyone else. He was my mate.

  “I love you, sweetheart.” The tears threatened to come back but I fought them off. I may not have been fixed on the inside, but I did have an understanding with myself now. I would always love him, but I couldn’t live in his life.

  “I will always love you, Jake. Until the day I die, but it is still too much.” He looked at me, understanding in his expression.

  “You’ll always be my mate, and I will be there for you. Whether we are together in this life, or the next.” He slowly eased out of me and moved my panties back into place. I sat up while he stood, putting himself back in his pants and zipping them back up. Needing one last touch, I stood and wrapped my arms around him.

  “I’ll be there, sweetheart.” I nodded at his words and leaned up to give him one last kiss. He made sure it was one I would never forget, searing the feel of his lips on mine like a brand. When the kiss broke, he walked me back to the bar and left. I hated seeing him go, but at least we parted this time both knowing where we were. The death of Casey wasn’t so fresh and emotionally draining me. I was still affected, but I felt like for the first time in weeks, I could finally breathe. Rayne and Mary were on me as soon as I sat at the bar.

  “We saw Jake come in, then disappear. You okay?” Rayne asked and I nodded.

  “Yeah, I actually feel better.” I gave her a halfhearted smile. They both accepted my answer and for the rest of the night, I tried to enjoy being out and alive. When we got back to my apartment that night, I didn’t feel upset, or shed one single tear. I felt alone still, but I had been alone before Jake and would be all right being alone now. I showered, and changed into some jammies, then lay down in bed to read.

  I checked on the rescue’s Facebook page quite a bit as weeks passed since my beach sex with Jake. I smiled when I saw that the money I had helped raise went toward new fencing and a brand new enclosure for a bear they would be bringing in. Another retired circus bear. I doubt Koda and the new bear would be able to be around each other, but it was still nice that the money went to good use. Jake hadn’t been in any videos lately. I knew this because I checked. Often.

  I just wanted to see his face. But both Autumn and Helen had taken over that duty for now it seemed. Word of Casey’s passing spread as well. While it made me very sad, it made me proud to see so many people comment, share, and spread awareness of cub petting. Maybe one day things could change and cub petting would stop. But, until then, the people who were aware were the cubs’ voices. They had the knowledge to create change.

  I busied myself with work, and trying to be a human again, all while helping Rayne with the nursery. They had decided to stay in the apartment for now, but had plans to move into a house near the water. We decorated the room in a sea creature theme. He or she was one super-loved baby. Helping Rayne had given me something to focus on, something I was starting to lack in the other facets of my life.

  “Your body is so hot,” I grumbled as Rayne laid under my covers. She was due any day now, and her body was like a furnace. Arson was working with some contractors at his gym all night and wouldn’t be done until about noon, so I told her she could stay with me. Keep her company and be there if she needed anything.

  “Sorry, I’ve been sweating like a pig at night now. This baby needs to be done cooking soon. I’m tired of not being in control of my body.” She rolled her bigger belly towards me. I scrambled out of the comforter and lay on top of it. Much cooler.

  “Try and get some sleep, babe. I’ll be fine,” I promised her. She needed her rest; Arson said she had been waking up in the middle of the night wide-awake lately, so I figured she must be exhausted. Her soft breaths let me know she had fallen asleep. Once I knew she was out and didn’t need anything, I let myself finally drift off, until my phone beeped and woke me up at 5a.m. I grabbed my phone and read the text message. It was from my pharmacy, saying that my birth control was ready to be picked up. I read it a couple of times, trying to understand it. It wasn’t time for me to get my birth control yet. I still had another week.

  I flipped over to my calendar app and counted the days. And then counted them again. And again. Something wasn’t right. I was supposed to pick up my birth control, and the week that was my off week, I didn’t get my period. So it’s been four weeks since I had my last period, Jake and I had sex in the middle, I didn’t get Aunt Flo when I was supposed to. For some reason I kept trying to figure out which was wrong, the text or the calendar. As gently as I could, so I wouldn’t wake Sleeping Beauty, I got up and went to look at my birth control pack. Which was actually difficult, because I couldn’t remember where it was.

  “Well, that isn’t good.” I looked all over in places I would have put the pack, and finally found it in my drawer in the bathroom. I really hoped I was a responsible adult and took my pills like I was supposed to. Slowly I opened the pack, treating it like a vicious animal. Half-empty.

  “Crap,” I muttered.

  I stood there and chewed on my bottom lip, afraid to think of what this could mean. My mind was going crazy. I had to know, so I dug through my cabinet for the little box. Years ago I had a pregnancy scare with a boyfriend. Thankfully it was just a false alarm, but I still had one stick left. Once I found the box, I pulled out the foil-covered pee stick and stared at it. God, what if I was? I was terrified to find out.

  “Put your big girl panties on, Cammy.” I tried to give myself a pep talk. I took a couple breaths, sat on the toilet and peeled back the foil. I held the stick down below, ready to pee. But I couldn’t make myself do it. I was beyond nervous about what I was thinking.

  “Pee. It’s okay. You wanted a family, so it’s okay. We got this. Just pee.” I was talking to myself, willing my body to just let it flow. As soon as I start to golden shower the stick, I heard Rayne call my name from the bedroom.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “Just a minute,” I yelled back.

  “Cammy, I need you, like now,” she yelled back and hearing the tone in her voice, I knew something was happening. I finished peeing, wiped, set the stick on the counter, washed up and ran out to her. She was sitting on my bed, staring between her legs where a big wet spot had emerged.

  “Did you pee my bed?”

  “I don’t think so.” She shook her head.

  “Will you smell it?” she asked me in all seriousness. I backed away waving my hands frantically.

  “Hell, no. You’re the one with the freaky sense of smell, you smell it.” Heck, no, I wasn’t smelling that. She touched her stomach and winced. Wet bed forgotten for now.

  “You okay?”

  “I think I’m having a baby,” she announced and I panicked.

  “Oh crap, all right, we need to go! I’ll get the bags, and whatever else. Are you hungry? Do you want some water? Um, crap, crap. Okay. I need to change. Uh, you should probably change, too. Oh, I will call Arson. He should probably know that his kid is on the way. Okay. We got this. Breathe. Everything is going to be just fine.” I was pacing and breathing heavy. I looked at Rayne to see her still sitting on the bed, watching me and holding back laughing.

  “How are you still sitting there? You are having a baby, for Christ’s sake. Why aren’t you up and moving? We need to get you to the hospital, like stat! Don’t sneeze or cough either! I don’t want any babies born in my apartment.” With that, she finally burst into a fit of giggles. What part of having a baby did she think was funny?

  “Oh, Cammy. The baby isn’t going to just fall out of me. My vagina isn’t a laundry shoot. This is my first kid; it’s going to be a while. Hours, most likely. The contractions aren’t bad. Let’s just get ready. No rushing, then head to the hospital. Relax. Don’t stress me, stressing will only make me worse.” She smiled and shook her head.

  I helped her up from the bed and together we got ready to leave. I called Arson on the way, and he said he would meet us at the hospital. Rayne’
s contractions were picking up, but she was breathing through them, my tough girl. Arson was at the door when we walked in and tried to get Rayne in a wheelchair but she refused. Something about walking helped move the baby down more. After signing some paperwork, they dressed her in an ugly blue hospital gown and set her up in a room. It was much different from what I was thinking a labor room would be. It was actually pretty nice.

  Rayne had signed up for a room with a shower and a bathtub, aiming for a water birth, au natural. I cringed when I heard her say that, but to each her own. Rayne was a fighter and I had no doubt that if anyone could do it, she could.

  We waited and held her hand when she needed it, until she was far enough along that she could get in the tub. On her knees, with her arms resting on the sides of the tub, she breathed through the painful contractions while Arson massaged her lower back. Man, what a team. The doctor came in and checked her to see how much she was dilated, and smiled.

  “We are ready to start pushing,” she announced. Rayne was covered in sweat, as she sat naked in the tub. I had officially seen every part of my best friend. Every part.

  She had asked me to stay and I agreed. I was now in this until that baby popped out. Arson held one hand and I held the other, as she clenched her teeth and started to push. I watched as my bad ass Xena-like friend pushed, naturally, for thirty minutes, until a little baby boy was born.

  “A boy,” Arson whispered, looking at his child in awe. There was a full head of black hair on the baby’s head, and he was big, too.

  “Lie back, he needs skin to skin contact right away.” Rayne did as she was told and they placed the tiny little thing on her chest. Tears were streaming down her cheeks from joy. Arson leaned over and kissed her head. I was elated for them, utterly happy for their new bundle of joy. As they cleaned Rayne up and Arson got to hold his son, I sat there, holding my best friend’s hand in her moment of pure joy seeing her two boys together. Something clicked inside me. This was what I was missing.